Man is said to be a social animal. Whosoever he/ she maybe, the need for belongingness is essential for him to fulfill. So we all have our parents, siblings, friends, colleagues and various other social relations we build - gym friends, blog buddies.. We need those relations to help us sustain through our lives as well. They give us that joy and comfort we desire, protect us when required, reprimand us as necessary. So what happens when these relations don't come through for the person when in need ??
I read one such story of a woman in yesterday's edition of the Bangalore Mirror. The cover story spoke of a a bubbly, vivacious girl who dreamed of the perfect marriage. Her diary like a faithful friend lapped up every word, every minute detail, every emotion she felt as she began to imagine her perfect life with the perfect guy. At the risk of sounding pessimistic and shattering this thought of "perfection" that most carry; I can say for sure no perfect life exists and more surely no perfect guy ( or gal) exists. However it felt nice to read of someone who believed so deeply that things were going to be good. You can tell she was brought with stories of princes and princesses and how they always lived happily ever after. So why taunt her for thinking her life was to tread down the same path ?? You can feel her excitement at seeing pics of her new home in Bangalore, the joy of seeing her fiancee after so many days apart, her sadness when her fiancee suggests they should not talk for a while. She is upset to learn of the many girlfriends the guy has had in the past but she believes now he is only hers.
Things start to look wrong even before the wedding takes place when the prospective in laws are upset with the bride's parents for not providing enough of gifts. They voice their opinion that they need to give more. Should the bride and her parents have put their foot down at this stage.. yes, so she feels but as she also writes she feels they are more obliged to finish off a responsibility they have (marrying off the daughter) than worry about these small matters. Things take a turn for the worse when after marriage she enters her new house only to discover her husband has a girlfriend and married her only because his parents insisted. Suddenly some incidents of the past make sense - he didn't want to talk to her after the engagement till he reached her home town, he seemed distant over the phone. Misbehaving in-laws who believe she isn't keeping their son happy, hapless parents who seem to be affected on learning this new development but are unwilling to do anything. You see her tears in every entry of that diary that says she is trying every trick in the book to save that marriage. She begs to God to help her; but somehow it fell on deaf ears too. Her last entry says her final goodbyes to her parents and brother; telling them that this is her decision and they shouldn't blame anyone.
Scares me how even after knowing of the situation the girl's parents did nearly nothing.. Frightening how just to please their parents some men go through a marriage as a formality and end up ruining a girl's life and most shocking is how, when all this evidence (and so many other stories like these) are printed and posted all over the internet, our laws and law makers have not become stringent enough.
For anyone who hasn't read the article - http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Client.asp?Daily=BGMIR&showST=true&login=default&pub=MM&Enter=true&Skin=MIRRORNEW
