The sisterhood of the thirsty travellers.. Part 1 of many to follow

Vacations in my house are painfully detailed and highly pre planned. We are not usually one of those "lets just  pack our bags and hop out of home and THEN decide where to go" types. Therefore the planning for recent vacation to USA started one year back; yes back back in May 2011. So my sister and I went through the entire ordeal of excitement, super excitement, informing all known people in the US of our future visit, planning how many days, where, when,WHY, whom to meet, what to wear ( face it, we are girls), anxiety (for our visa), super joy (on getting 10 year visa) etc etc.

This being the first vacation we sisters were doing together; we found out every painstaking detail for each city we were to visit. We had tons of help along the way; all of our excited friends and family did their bit too. Thousands of BBM/Whatsapp/FB messages and pictures were exchanged on "so we HAVE to go here", "ohh look look sale starting when we go here", "that looks sooo good, we have to EAT here" and many many more. If you think planning a trip is easy, you are sadly mistaken my friend. The route, the mode of travel, the PRICES, the hotels, the PRICES, the spots you want to see, the shops you just don't want to miss, the time to want to relax (coz you are on vacation after all); so many many details but the joy of seeing that final plan and actually  living the plan is spectacular.

Advice comes flying at you from every possibly direction; make sure you don't get knocked out cold with it. Parents always worry about money - don't overspend, don't waste, be careful with wallets. So my parents come up with the this wonderful plan to avoid being robbed at security check. The two of us stand a few people apart in the line; one person goes through and clears and then the second puts both bags in for screening. That way one person is standing on the other side to receive the bags and keeping an eye out for thieves. Did we do it; you've gotta be kidding me !!!! We laughed at the idea all the way through security check and no, nothing was stolen.

You would find all kinds of people at airports. Its quite the tapestry of human beings; from the loud, over excited ones, to the mushy, romantic newly weds; hyper active children to the down right stupid ones. Our encounter with the last kind happened when a man walked into the women's washroom, stands there for 3 seconds notices women there and says "yeh ladies hai kyaa???". And you think you have seen them all !!!

All international airports envision looting tourists even before they board their flights; that's why they have Duty Free stores. You will see all passengers going "Oh soo cheap", "Oh discount", "Arre one pe one"; my sister and I were strong; we walked through all the stores, checked out all prices, tried on every perfume we loved (don't scoff; i know you would do it too) and yeah also kept in mind what we wanted to buy on the way back (read alcohol). By the time we boarded the flight; the excitement had vanished and sleep was haunting us. After the 20-30 odd calls and sms to our parents about our baggage, our check in, our security check, how we are killing time, did we eat, have we boarded; the cell phone was switched, to be switched on a day later. Bags were stowed away safely and seat belts were buckled. It was time to say Bye Bye India for 3 weeks and Hello USA !!!!

and what a wedding it was ...

The last couple of days have been the most fun i have had in a while now. One of my girlies was set to walk down the aisle with her beau of 8 years. 8 years.. wowwiiee.. and thus the string of celebrations began. This was the 2nd wedding of my girlie gang. While we missed 2 girlies who couldnt make it, the other 3 made sure we soak in every moment and give bit by bit updates to the others. BBM, whatsapp and FB helped us transfer a wedding happening in Mumbai to London and New York.

The bachelorette party happened two days prior to the wedding and i, for one missed most part of it owing to a delayed flight. But i caught of the events' happenings inspite of my very late arrival. The stories were non stop from my other girlies, the cousins and i think even her little niece. My usually coy and very lady like bride to be friend revealed an all new avataar of wildness and happily accepted a few shots of alcohol too. Bring on the madness i say....

The next day was her Rocce ceremony. In this ceremony a ritual hot water bath with anointing of oil and application of pure coconut juice is taken by the groom/the bride. This signifies the last bath that the bride or the groom will be taking in their bachelorhood/spinsterhood. The bride and her bridesmaids sat pretty while the application of coconut milk started. The fun started off when all relatives and friends aimed at drenching the bride and her entourage in the coconut milk. At some point in time someone brought out a tube of toothpaste :P. My friend has selected a theme for this ceremony and that required all of us ladies to wear 'Navari' sarees. For all those ignorant ones, you would see the navari style saree worn by Katrina Kaif in Chikni Chameli. "Bum divider" sarees as we usually call is probably the most uncomfortable and physically unappealing garment a girl can wear. Photos simply shows non existent layers of fat and no angle allows you to look good. But an experience none the less. I took my experience one level further when i decided not to change and drove back home in the saree. Yes, yes i got quite a few looks from the people in the building.

Finally the big day was here. My friend's excitement knew no bounds. The joy was spilling over and was infectious, affecting all those around. Never before had i seen a more beaming and happy bride. She greeted each one with a smile so wide, even as she posed for the photographer. There was a skip in her step and one could tell she was ready for this. The church mass was a beautiful solemn ceremony where the happiness of both families was evident. As the couple took their vows before their family friends and God, you could see a smile on the face of every person there.

As we headed out from the church and towards the reception, i realized the traffic police had left a surprise for me too. They towed my car away and left me the "clue" to help me find it. After roaming around two wrong police station, in what one of my girlies called outrageous outfits, we landed at the right place and got my car back. So after that little detour we headed back to that magical wedding. The celebrations were just starting off with all her well wishers, friends and extended family coming in to wish the couple. They joined in song and dance ( ohh so many dances). The super happy bride was seen running all over the place dragging everyone to floor to join in the celebrations. Half way through and i kicked off my heels and joined the dancing frenzy. We started with the regular club numbers, to Bollywood ones to some exciting jive numbers ( and yes i could do the jive; guided of course by someone who actually knew who to dance) and ending with some nice and slow numbers.

A beautiful ending to a beautiful wedding; with so much laughter, so much merriment and so much celebration. But we all know the celebrations have just begun for them. For all those who know them, we are so sure that this celebration will get bigger with every passing year.

Here's to you K & J... loads of love !!!!

Chottue trip down memory lane...

New years' eve is always a big deal and i decided to go back to home grounds and bring in New Year Bombay style. When you live outside your city, you think you can keep in touch with all that is happening and you know every place and person around; i too thought so. I was sadly mistaken; i am half Mumbaikar half Bangalorean now. Mumbai is in my blood, that feeling of safety and security automatically comes to me the minute my plane lands in Mumbai airport. The sounds are soothing, the area - as familiar as the back of my hand yet i am alienated. How big a difference distance makes :( The discrepancies can be seen in daily interactions - i call the rickshaw guy "guru" and not "bhaiyya"; i try to bargain about the fare then suddenly realizing i don't need to do that here and apparently i have the southie twang when i talk.

I wanted to prove that i still belong here; that i have memories here that noone can steal away. So i decided to take a small trip down memory lane and what better place to start it off than our very own Mithibai College :D.. Ahh those days, those classes, the profs and that canteen - where we spent hours on end eating all on their menu, chatting up with all those waiters, those iron benches and more than anything the witch hunts we had to get a place to sit :D This time when we went back the scenario was different. Our old canteen with little lighting was no longer there; instead i see a swanky, upgraded, almost food court style canteen. The old iron benches have given way to high tables and bar stools. Our friendly waiters were no longer there to take our order; actually don't think they needed to take it. They usually knew what each one ate.; the pav bhaji dosa, idli sambar (with sambar alag se), masala pav. The food still tasted good but the charm of that rustic, almost run down canteen with its ancient standing fans was lost.

We left college in 2006 and yes of course we miss those days ( don't tell me you don't). Feels like just yesterday that i walked into college for the first time and knew almost noone. Time has flown naah !!!

And the terror reigns struck again ...

Should be i ashamed to say that terror attacks are happening at intervals as regular as some major sporting events - 2006, 2008, 2011 ??? Do i expect one in 2013 again or should we give them the benefit of doubt and say they can plan a lot quicker this time and have another event in 2012 ???

Why.. why do we have to be the only ones who suffer ? Why does the common man who is going about his daily work and returning to his awaiting family have to endure this tragedy and some wouldn't even return back home to see their loved ones ? what have does innocent shop keepers done to have their livelihood, their shops, their life long earnings blown up like this ?

I sincerely believe we have become a soft target for terror. They know they can get away with anything since we don't take a stand and strong action. When the perpetrator from the 2008 attacks are still enjoying a comfortable life in jail, why should we assume that those involved in smaller intensity attacks would be caught and punished ? We have tried with dialogues and talks; now maybe it's time we "DO" something.

Anyway despite all i have said, i know very little is going to be done. Have i turned pessimistic ??? No it's just the realist in me talking...

The secret diary

Man is said to be a social animal. Whosoever he/ she maybe, the need for belongingness is essential for him to fulfill. So we all have our parents, siblings, friends, colleagues and various other social relations we build - gym friends, blog buddies.. We need those relations to help us sustain through our lives as well. They give us that joy and comfort we desire, protect us when required, reprimand us as necessary. So what happens when these relations don't come through for the person when in need ??

I read one such story of a woman in yesterday's edition of the Bangalore Mirror. The cover story spoke of a a bubbly, vivacious girl who dreamed of the perfect marriage. Her diary like a faithful friend lapped up every word, every minute detail, every emotion she felt as she began to imagine her perfect life with the perfect guy. At the risk of sounding pessimistic and shattering this thought of "perfection" that most carry; I can say for sure no perfect life exists and more surely no perfect guy ( or gal) exists. However it felt nice to read of someone who believed so deeply that things were going to be good. You can tell she was brought with stories of princes and princesses and how they always lived happily ever after. So why taunt her for thinking her life was to tread down the same path ?? You can feel her excitement at seeing pics of her new home in Bangalore, the joy of seeing her fiancee after so many days apart, her sadness when her fiancee suggests they should not talk for a while. She is upset to learn of the many girlfriends the guy has had in the past but she believes now he is only hers.

Things start to look wrong even before the wedding takes place when the prospective in laws are upset with the bride's parents for not providing enough of gifts. They voice their opinion that they need to give more. Should the bride and her parents have put their foot down at this stage.. yes, so she feels but as she also writes she feels they are more obliged to finish off a responsibility they have (marrying off the daughter) than worry about these small matters. Things take a turn for the worse when after marriage she enters her new house only to discover her husband has a girlfriend and married her only because his parents insisted. Suddenly some incidents of the past make sense - he didn't want to talk to her after the engagement till he reached her home town, he seemed distant over the phone. Misbehaving in-laws who believe she isn't keeping their son happy, hapless parents who seem to be affected on learning this new development but are unwilling to do anything. You see her tears in every entry of that diary that says she is trying every trick in the book to save that marriage. She begs to God to help her; but somehow it fell on deaf ears too. Her last entry says her final goodbyes to her parents and brother; telling them that this is her decision and they shouldn't blame anyone.

Scares me how even after knowing of the situation the girl's parents did nearly nothing.. Frightening how just to please their parents some men go through a marriage as a formality and end up ruining a girl's life and most shocking is how, when all this evidence (and so many other stories like these) are printed and posted all over the internet, our laws and law makers have not become stringent enough.

For anyone who hasn't read the article - http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Client.asp?Daily=BGMIR&showST=true&login=default&pub=MM&Enter=true&Skin=MIRRORNEW

Of course i love you Bangalore

Most of those who know me know how loyal i am to Mumbai; i ain't categorized as a mallu or south indian despite my last name - i am a true blue Mumbaikar...So what happens to this true blue Mumbaikar when she moves down south to a territory where Rajanikanth is idolized and worshipped, hindi is spoken like a foreign language, the street food - vada pav, open cheese mysore dosa n cuttin' chai do not exist, restaurants..clubs.. and everything else shuts at 11 30so as to deny me my night time cravings of burji pav, cheese pav bhaji, dabeli and masala chai .... she complains !!!

am she wrong to do so ??? No; not at the start at least but has she grown to love the city.... who's questioning that ?? My initial few days was filled with complaints - people don't speak hindi here, transport system sucks, everything shuts early, nothing to do here, things move so slowly around here .. blah blah n more of that ..

Now let's be honest most of these issues still continue to haunt me but why has the love for this city grown ?? B'lore has its own charm, it's a newer melange of people from various parts of the country - most of whom are brought by the almighty IT industry, the weather is soothing - not too harsh; winters feel like winters when everyone's wrapped in blankets, shawls and sweaters.. the sudden spring showers to cool you off; it taught me some new skills - haggling with the rickshaw guys; trying to decipher the Kannada language and getting the locals to understand my half hindi-english + hand gestures.

It taught me to live in a big city by myself but most of all, it brought this very awesome plethora of friends in to my life.. friends who have also left home and are living alone; who are also lovin' their independence and want to live it up every moment.. B'lore gives its people that chance to stop for a second and look how things are going on; things don't rush by in a mad rush. It's 3 years since i moved into this city - i cried my eyes out when i first saw my parents leave; n now the thought of ever having to move back; those tears are gonna come rushing back again !!!

Lorsque la mort est plus douce que la vie...

The past few days have seen tens of thousands of reports of the case of 60 yr old Aruna Shanbaug; a nurse in KEM hospital who was brutally assaulted, sodomized and left to die by a ward boy of the hospital. 37 years down, she is alive so to speak. The attack left her unable to move, talk or speak. Kudos to those nurse of KEM who have looked after her for nearly 4 decades. The recent petition filed in the SC by Pinki Virani dug out the old and never dying topic of euthanasia.

I know my views on euthanasia as a subject but in the case of Aruna that is so complicated, where she feels pain, smiles (at times) when called out to.. is that really a solution. I guess euthanasia does require a strong will and mind to see the person you cared for, die because you decided to pull the plug. Are we strong enough ??? i believe that is why the nurses in KEM hospital refuse to give up on her and celebrate the SC verdict on life for Aruna. So many different ways of looking at this.. what would i do if i had to see my loved one go through a similar situation, if he/she had no reaction, emotion, feeling; if his/her life was being prolong on machines and feeding tubes ?? is it fair to prolong their life bcoz i can't see them go ?? is it right to see them suffer ??

My grandma always said death should come peacefully, like it did for my granddad. I may sound cold as i take forward her thoughts and say life should be quality life as we live, else what difference would it make if we are here or not. Why be in a coma state with no reactions and feeling and still continue to "live". It saddens your family around you to see you that way, and i am sure in your heart you would never want to live that way.. They say life is a gift, live it well... so i ask if a life similar to what Aruna ( and many others across the globe ) is living is a gift, do we want it ??

India has taken a big stand by putting forward the idea of passive euthanasia; but i still wonder - are we emotionally ready to pull the plug ??