The 30s Tamasha

Even before I delve into this post, I will confirm my stand that age is still a number for me. However the whole "getting older" cycle is showing me (and some of my friends) some signs of how life is slowly taking a different path. Being 30 and single is at the moment, a damn good phase of my life. I have the choice to design my life the way I want. However, the last few months I have seen some very obvious changes in my lifestyle and strangely many of my friends echo the same. Wondering if this is my start to ranting as a crabby old lady, hmmm but anyway; I know many others who echo these sentiments.

My sleep is extremely important for me - Not taking away the fact that it always was, however now I deliberately run away from late nights. I have no qualms making excuses to skip a dinner or late night movie esp on a weekday. I will still head out on a Friday or Saturday night but bring up a plan on a weekday and I go *facepalm* "no way Jose".

I have my choice of music that I want to listen to and I am easily awkward to the point of being hopelessly bored in a place that plays new age pop. It is embarrassing enough to try and Shazam the song and then read the details and figure "Damnnnn, who is Nikyee Heaton ???". Similarly I love the feeling of showing off my Michael Jackson knowledge and (don't judge me) boy band knowledge to those 90s born kids who never had a boy band poster in the bedroom and drooled over it (Fine, guilty again!)

I choose comfort above all. Be it my wardrobe or shoes, comfort triumphs all. Stylish comes a close second but now I see myself eyeing those 5 inch heels and going "I waaaaannnnnttttt but damn how my legs will kill me".

I have started to ensure I have a complete blood and the works check up done every 6 months and so. I also have taught myself to understand what all those numbers in those reports mean. I know that's no biggie, most people know that but it's a new one for me. Similarly I care a bit more about staying fit; I consciously try and avoid the junk that I love so much. I just realised its been two months since I had Joey's pizza *sob sob*

Although, there are a few things I have picked up when I was closing in on the 29/30 age mark which I am quite happy about. I have started to enjoy heading out and doing things on my own - watching plays for example. I like the solitude of my own company sometimes. I have picked up a cause that I feel very strongly about and am trying to do my bit. 

So what do you think, age or just laziness 😁 My brain keeps swinging between the two; I think it's usually an amalgamation of the two. 

You know how people make such a big deal about the whole "turning 30" bit; take it from me it is still just a number. Being happy in your own space triumphs all other feelings. Of course, sometimes the higher the number, the better it is - be it in a salary package or a bottle of wine 😜

Tatksang Monastery and the "behind the scenes" of that trek

It's been 6 months since our trip to that beautiful mountain kingdom of Bhutan and now ask anyone I know, I shamelessly promote tourism to that country. One thing I tried to do when I started on my trip was to maintain a diary of my day to day experiences in Bhutan - I feel bad to say that I failed miserably. The detailed posts only lasted 3 days and the rest were notes and scribbles of thing I found very interesting. This morning, I found that diary hidden and forgotten among some HR books and in that was a detailed description of the most amazing day I had in Bhutan - the climb to the Tatksang Monastery. While I gave the essence of it in my Bhutan post a few months ago, I definitely feel the need to put down the details of this particular day; so here we go.

As we arrived into Paro the previous evening, we were already mesmerized by the pristine beauty of this country. The stories of green mountains, rolling fog, beautiful trees from the fairy tales seemed very real here. 7:45 am, the next day and we were ready to go; this was the part we were looking forward to - the climb to the Tatksang Monastery. The Tatksang Monastery or Tiger's Nest Monastery as it is popularly known is built along a cliff in the Upper Paro valley. The story I was told goes: Guru Rinpoche arrived on this cliff on the back of a flying Tigeress from Tibet and meditated here for 3 years, 3 months, 3 weeks and 3 days in a cave, thus anointing the spot to build a monastery there. He is considered the Protector Saint of Bhutan and according to some, is believed to have introduced Buddhism to the region.  

A little after 8 am and we found ourselves at the car park at the base of the mountain. Our guide + driver Kinzang had come prepared with sticks to help us hike. This trail is like no other - Cut through the mountains just enough to be a path, it is rugged, rocky and if it rains, the mud turns to slush, turning the trail into a slippery slide. The trail does not start off easy; right from the base, it is rough. Your eyes need to be focused on the path ahead; you never know when one stray root or stone can knock you down. Heaven forbid, if you tumble a few steps far too left, you will find yourself rolling down the side of the valley. Having said that, everyone attempting the climb was very enthusiastic at the start. About a km into the climb and my sister decides that she cannot continue. No amount of pushing and prodding from me or Kinzang helped. She decided to head back down to the base and wait while we returned. 

My climb wasn't any easier. For one, I climbed a few kms ahead and threw up all my breakfast at the side of the mountain. For another, the mountains gave me a damn good reality check of my fitness level; the result - extremely unfit. I stopped every few kms to let my body relax and recuperate. The trek has two major stops before you reach the monastery; commonly called view point 1 & 2. The climb to the first view point was tough, very tough. After about 3/4th of the journey to the first view point, the monastery shows itself from across the valley, hidden slightly in the fog. What kept me going, apart from my determined desire to see the monastery were the people along the route. Believe me, you do find people who are more or less in your situation - huffing, puffing, stopping every few minutes. The encouragement I received was tremendous. Random strangers pushing you to keep going and you, in turn encouraging the other tired souls. The guides also keep you entertained with stories and legends from the place - how you need to make a trip to the monastery 3 times to have a deep desire fulfilled, how these mountains have also been the death place of tourists who have gone over the edge while taking pictures. 

The first view point arrives and I am so mighty proud of myself, am almost celebrating with a victory dance; although I know I still have a long way to go. The Monastery is now clearly visible, a valley away. As we were reaching there, my guide gets a call from the tourist office at the base that my sister has asked for a horse and will be arriving at the first view point in a while. As horses are allowed only up to this point, we had to wait before before we proceeded. Meanwhile, Kinzang told me of how all Bhutanese people including the Royal family make it to the monastery on foot. No horses or other preferential treatment for anyone. There are also a group of people who make the trip every week or sometimes twice a week carrying food supplies to the monks living there. Yep, my mind was officially blown. Carrying my own weight there was bad enough for me, now imagine doing that with a 50 kg bag of rice on your bag. Respect! My sister arrived 45 minutes later and meanwhile, I soaked in every bit of fresh mountain air that my lungs could take. The serenity is unbeatable. The chattering noises from the tourists resting here only lasts a while and the silence takes over again. 

As we continued onward, I could distinctly feel the air getting thinner making it harder and harder to breathe. My legs were no longer the problem. The nose and forehead has started throbbing, all signs of high altitude and cold weather. The energy to carry on was there but breathlessness became a concern for me. They say this can be taken care of by having altitude sickness medicine before you start your trip to such places. My sister had had some and I didn't and maybe that's why I felt this much more than her. A few short and deep breaths helped me make it every 100 steps. View point 2 was my short term goal -  On making it there, I would decide if I wanted to continue 350 steps down and 350 steps up to the monastery or I would be content with the view from there. A bite of an energy bar and some huffing and puffing later, view point 2 had arrived. The monastery was closer and in full view but still a valley across. The view is magical. Gleaming and glittering in the sunlight, it was beckoning everyone towards it. A little break to relax and take pictures and Kinzang had started egging us to move quickly. 

It was nearly 12 pm and the monastery shuts at 1 for lunch; which meant we would need to wait for an hour if we reached late. How I climbed down those rickety, half broken stone steps and back up again, I don't know but we made it. At 12:30 pm, we were at the monastery door. It is when you arrive at the spot that you fully realize the brilliance behind the construction of the place. Standing so precariously on the side of the cliff, it is almost floating in the air. I kept wondering how they managed to construct in the first place almost centuries ago and again recently about a decade or so ago, when the monastery caught fire and some parts had to be rebuilt. We quickly went from room to room and spent a few seconds in quiet reflection. All my thoughts were all and only in gratitude. I took a few seconds to peek down from one of their balcony area; you only see a never ending valley. The 4 hour trek up culminated in 30 minutes of seeing the monastery and it was time to head back down. Heading down is intense pressure on your knees and ankles but takes you far lesser time than climbing up. There are quite a few shortcut, very steep ones for the climb up mind you; that we avoided earlier and we happily took on the way down. 

Two hours flat and we were back where we started. You couldn't rub the smiles off our faces as hard as you tried. I knew my legs were going to give the minute I reached home but for now there was no pain. It was now time of an well deserved meal and more deserved rest. People visit the monastery for many reasons and to have many desires fulfilled; for me it was to see the sheer beauty of this place. For that and only that reason, I am always ready to go back to Bhutan.

Feeling Grateful; Thank You 2015

2015 has been an eventful year for me, to be honest maybe a little more bad than good and so I am happy to say goodbye to the year. Don't get me wrong, I am also very thankful for this year - I learned a lot about myself this year and for that I owe 2015 a big one.

While a certain big life event didn't go down as planned, I watched as my family and I struggled to understand why this happened. We handled it our own way which was sometimes good and many times not. It's funny how we put on a brave face for those around and think no one will notice how it is bothering you. I tried that too, who wants to show that he/ she is hurt and troubled but my parents showed me strength and support that I couldn't imagine. Same stands for my extended family too For that among all the other million things that they gave me, I am so grateful.

This year, I managed to keep to one of my personal fundas of "visiting one new country" and ticked off Bhutan from my bucket list. It was one of my most memorable trips and I believe it will stay so for a long time.It was 10 days away from my laptop and with minimal internet and only being around nature in the most pristine state that I had probably seen it. I understood the idea of being happy regardless of how much you have from the Bhutanese and I am grateful to them for that.

As my sister and I made our way through Bhutan, I rediscovered my travel buddy in her. We were doing a trip together, just the two of us after 2012. We squabble, yell, laugh, eat, drink, argue, gossip and do so much together. Yes, there are times we do not want to see each other's face but we never stop planning our next trip. For that and all the memories coming up, I am very grateful.

2015 was the year when I stepped into the so called dreaded 30s. When I was still in school, I remember thinking of people who were 30 to be well, old for one and just belong to another planet I guess. Everyone around also puts you in the spotlight as the birthday approaches - when are you going to get married, what are you planning to do with your life etc - so many questions come flying your way. I am not one to care for age, it always was and continues to be a number for me. Let me tell you, it's been 3.5 months since the 30s came around; it feels no different. As I looked back over the 20s that I have left behind, I am grateful for the wonderful memories and the awesome people I have met - you know who you are.

This year has shown me what a massive support system I have in my bunch of friends. They may not be in the same city, hell they may not even be in the same country but they are always there. No, we do not talk everyday or every week and that's fine but when things were down, they were with me every step of the way. So very grateful for them!

So, in all yes the year has been bitter-sweet but the lessons are massive and here to stay. As we step into 2016, I am not sure of any resolutions I want to take up yet but one thing is for sure I am hoping for health, happiness, laughter, fun, madness, success, travel and so much more for all these beautiful people in my life.

Bhutan Diaries: Snippets from the Land of the Thunder Dragon

My annual holiday for 2015 has happened and so has one more tick on my wishlist of items. This was a vacation I had on my mind for a long, long time - I read up like crazy about it, hunted through every article on TripAdvisor, hounded every person who I knew had visited the place n got info; yes we get crazy like that and at last it was time to go - The land of happiness, Bhutan was calling. So a flight to Bagdogra and then a 5 hour drive got us to the border town of Phuentsholing and then began our adventure. One of the biggest advantages for Indians travelling here is that there is no visa needed - you enter with your passport or election card. We managed 5 cities/ towns in 10 days: Paro, Thimphu, Punakha, Bumthang and Phobjikha.

The border gate from Phuentsholing - Photo Credit: Pooja Pillai

So why is a country that borders India such a mystery and so intriguing ? Maybe because until a few years ago, very little was known about the country and its people; maybe because there is still an semi active monarchy which is loved and revered by the people, maybe because they take a lot of care with regard to modernization of the country while holding on to their tradition and more importantly preserving the environment making so damn pretty. We got to experience all of this first hand and there is no disappointment through any bit of the trip and these are my highlights:

- The whole country is pretty, period. No arguments, no however, nothing - everywhere you look, your eyes will first catch a vast patch of green, then perhaps a bit of mountain and then whatever else is there.
- The people are among some of the nicest I have come across - The men don't ogle at women walking on the street, people are willing to help you in case of anything and they genuinely want you to have a good time in their  country. They are also probably some of the only few left who genuinely adore Indians and India. They get a lot of help in terms of resources, food even military support from India. They do a damn good job of using it I have to say; wonder what stops us (stupid question, know the answer).
- Bhutan has a monarchy and the king and queen are adored by the public. I didn't hear one person say anything against them or complain about them. In fact, they were more than eager to tell us of all the wonderful things the royal couple does for the public - how they visit remote, far away villages and check on people, how they are accessible to the general public in case of any trouble, how they create and offer so many opportunities regarding education and jobs for their people. Working for the government is an extremely prestigious job there... imagine that!
- The food there is different from most others - cheese and chillies are the core ingredients in most of their dishes. Most Bhutanese enjoy raw chillies with their food. You can be a little daring and try that as well - really helps with the cold weather.
- The Bhutanese stick to their national dress; Gho for the men and Kira for the women. They are expected to wear this at all government offices and jobs. Once in a while, you will come across someone not following the dress code.
- I saw no beggars on the street, no jokes.
- There are no traffic signals in any city or town - again, no jokes
- The country is covered with prayer flags. Lundaar as it called in Dzongkha literally translated means wind flags. They say that flags are a way to spread good wishes and prayers - when someone puts up a flag in his/ her premises, the wind carries blessings and wishes to all those in the path of the wind and the owner in turn gets wishes in return.

Photo Credit: Pooja Pillai

The highlight of this trip for me (and therefore I will elaborate on this), that one place I was most looking forward to visit was Taktsang Lhakhang or the Tiger's Nest Monastery in Paro. Nestled high up in the mountains, it seems to be in another world by itself. We were advised to start early to avoid the harsh sun. A little past 8 am and we were at the base all ready to begin. The souvenirs stalls were still setting up and we saw a few others arriving at the parking lot too. We grabbed our walking sticks and set off - we were a party of 3; our driver cum guide Kinzang, my sister and I. The trail is rugged to begin with - it doesn't fool by being nice and easy at the start. I don't know what I should call it - a road, a trail, some what of a path ?? Simply put, it seems like some amount of rock was cut away from the mountain so people can walk up vs climb up. The road is muddy, uneven, rocky, winding and has different levels of incline - God help you if you are like me and shirked away from working out and building up stamina before your trip. 25 minutes into our walk and my sister had already started showing signs of turning back. I pushed her to continue but about half a km later, she decided to turn back and wait for me in the parking lot. No amount of senti worked so I continued with the guide (She did however meet us at the first view point later; she took a horse to reach there).

As we walked up further, we are in full range of the sun and it was bright and hot that day. Slowly the jackets came off and sweat start to appear. My energy levels were dropping and I had to slow down - I could feel my stomach churn and within minutes, my breakfast and tea was out at the side of the mountain. I think I was more embarrassed than sick at the point. However, the beauty of this place and this trek was that people around you seemed to understand the exertion your body is going through. As they walked by, some offered advice - sit down, relax, take it easy; some offered support - don't be worried, these things happen, you will make it, don't stop, it will be worth it; and some offered water. All gestures appreciated of course. Let me not get into the entire story but it took me 4 hours to reach up there and it was totally totally worth it. The view is extraordinary, the monastery fills you up with such peace and the pride you feel for yourself having made it so far is unbeatable.

Taktsang Lakhang - Photo Credit: Pooja Pillai

This country for me defined peace and tranquility; even in the capital city of Thimphu, where we saw "crowd" per say. Fair warning though - when and if you visit Phuentsholing, you will think you are still in India - the crowd is crazy, there are beggars in the streets, dirty roads etc so do not include that in your Bhutan experience. But step out of this city, a few kms into the country and a strange calmness comes over you and it stays with you throughout. One of the best things for me was the fact that I had no network on my phone through most of my trip and while, we had a Bhutanese SIM; we stuck to basic calling facilities. I managed well without internet and whatsapp and Facebook - I loved getting WiFi intermittently. I read a fair amount, wrote a bit and more than anything soaked in every breath of clean air my lungs could take in.

I now go around recommending Bhutan to any person who is half interested and I am going to do the same here. Bhutan should be on every person's list, at least before it becomes too crowded and commercial. It is a destination like no other and the experience leaves you wanting more - I know I want to go back; there's a lot left to be explored.

I am a 'didi' now

Such a long time since I put pen to paper, so to speak. Truth be told, writer's block hit me bad. I think I began functioning like a machine, doing my daily tasks as they came along, living out my social life as if it were a compulsion and "enjoying the moment" was not part of any of these. I feel bad that I let the last few months go by like that. But all is not lost. One good thing that I did in the last few months was sign myself up for a very interesting project. To give you a bit of background, I have been toying with the idea of signing up with an NGO for a few years now. So many NGOs out there taking up so many worthy causes and while each of them interested me; be it animal welfare or environmental conservation or even education, none of them really called out to me like this particular one.

It is called the Lighthouse Project and it is an initiative that connects educated urban youth with children from under resourced communities through one on one mentoring thus giving both parties an opportunities to explore a world outside their own. This initiative called out to me as it goes beyond just stepping into the class and teaching but works at showing kids the practicality of what they learn and how to use it. We get to share our experiences and all the training we went through with these kids and contribute our bit in their all round development. Look them up - www.lighthouseproject.in

I got a chance to meet my mentee a few days ago and it was better than I expected. I was pulled back into the world of a 9th grader - of cribbing about homework, school teachers and classroom "rivalry". Her stories were non stop - "that girl is my 'enemy', you shouldn't talk to her also didi"; "that boy is my best friend, sometimes he copies from me"; "i hate maths" - and in my mind I do a double back flip and praise the lord, I don't need to help her with that because you know math... yuccckkk.

However, I also saw another side of her; one that wanted to go beyond the school and the studies, one that was so curious of how an office works; how she loves playing football and she is the goal keeper for her school team; her three repetitions of her understanding of what I do for a living;   - all these conversations were in whispers while our project coordinators were briefing us. Yep, I wasn't one of those who talked when class was on; it was a flashback to college for me. I saw her get excited to learn about colleges, career options, learn about different countries and learn to speak super English as she put it. She was extremely insistent on me visiting her class as well and as I walked in, she points out to the first bench and says "Didi, I sit here; because I keep on talking na" - big grin!

The past Saturday marked day one of the start of us learning together. I already find myself constantly looking for interesting projects that we could do together; looking up suggestions how best to help her and more than often, thinking of ways of spending time together so she doesn't get bored in the first 10 minutes. Scary to feel the burden of responsibilities of a teacher without actually being one; wonder if our teachers from school & college felt it as much too. I can foresee some interesting incidents in the upcoming months; can't wait!

I walked into the school and I am greeted by her big, big smile - "I was waiting for you only didi" and thus it begins! 

Jump !

It's been a while since an idea/ event has registered so strongly in my mind that I needed to pen it down. Having recently returned from a massive five week vacation to the US and London (yes, i know so many of you are cursing me for the five week vacation); I managed to do one thing that was on my bucket list for the longest time - Skydive.

I do not consider myself to be an adventure sports junkie - I do not need to jump off a aircraft or go wreck diving or bungee jumping but I do have a few activities on my bucket list and Skydiving was definitely one of them. To let you in on a little secret (and my family will agree), I get petrified of climbing up on a stool at home to remove stuff kept in higher shelves and cupboards - my feet tremble and I have the constant feeling of falling and cracking my skull. So how skydiving landed on my list I don't know and I can't explain but I only knew I had to do it once.

The planning for this started at almost the same time as the planning for the trip itself. I looked up every place I was visiting and researched sky diving centres there. I finally settled on the idea of doing this at my last destination in the US & my last big adventure in the vacation there, so Miami was the chosen one and The Miami Sky Diving centre was best one I found. I kid you not I must have visited their website at least 20 times in 3 days to read reviews people posted, videos of tandem dives, prices, the whole shebang. Once I was convinced, I began persuading my sister to do a dive too. Once in a lifetime experience I said and what's the worst that can happen - you die .. Of course we discussed a whole lot of worse scenarios but yeah a little convincing later she was on board too. Now the difficult part - telling my parents who were going to be with us in Miami. I thought and thought about it and then decided not to tell them; atleast not at that moment. We made the appointment for the tandem dive - where an instructor dives with you, paid the advance and then a few weeks before we were to leave, we broke the news. They laughed, thought we were kidding, realized we weren't but luckily no drama. My mother seemed quite kicked by the idea actually.

Fast forward to the day of the dive. My sister and I made our way to the airport - a long cab ride away from Downtown Miami. There is no feeling of anxiety or fright or happiness even; it's a little early in the morning and we are still sleepy. We are made to sign a whole bunch of forms which basically say "dude, this is entirely your idea and we are only here to help... so if things go south up there (literally); your family (and you, if you survive somehow) can't sue us. Thank you very much - enjoy your dive". My sister actually reads through each point and comes up with questions; me, I sign blindly. So the instructors/ tandem divers are here and we are getting geared up and we head to the aircraft.I believe that your instructor is super super important esp if this is your first dive since you go in with no expectation. As brave as you are, nerves start to set in and you need someone to talk you through. My instructor has been skydiving for 33 years and done over 8500 jumps. It's just like any office job he says 9 - 5 types (yeah right). The aircraft is a little box, and I am not exaggerating. It correctly fit 5 people - the pilot, my sister, I and our tandem instructors. Superbly uncomfortable with minimal place to stretch your legs and I am 5 ft nothing - I wonder how the taller people manage. My instructor has already given me a low down on what needs to be done once we are out of the aircraft - hands crossed across the chest, head back, back arched.. Sure sure it's simple. As the aircraft takes off, the excitement builds, it's finally happening. My instructor chats away non stop, asking all kinds of questions - where are you form, so where all are you travelling to, do you have family here, tell me about India, the weather in Miami etc.

By the time I finished answering his questions and posing for random pictures on his go pro (for the insurance guys, he says and laughs), we are at 10000 ft and my sister's tandem instructor has thrown open the aircraft door. When the wind hits your face, is when you know - damn this is happening. My sister was closer to the door therefore was the first to jump; one awkward smile to each other and the next moment she was gone. Holy hell - this is really happening. So I inch closer to the door, the wind hitting my face harder and i listen to my instructor telling me to put my legs out of the aircraft. I do and before I know it - I am free falling. Not a moment to think he gave me and I am glad he didn't. As we free fall and I scream, my instructor screams with me - its adds to the fun he says. Let me just say, the free fall of 25-30 seconds seems to be much much longer. So many thoughts crossing my mind - will the parachute open, will I crash into the ground below, haven't I reached 5000 ft yet, damn I am way up high, wow what a view and so much more and of course my instructor kept his chattering up with ohh look you can see the beach from here (yeah, like I was going to look at the beach as I plummet to the ground). Suddenly I feel a tug and the free fall has dropped speed and now I am gliding with the wind. Praise the lord, the parachute has opened - arms wide open and safety glasses off, I finally start appreciating the scenery so to speak. I finally look ahead straight and see the beach, look around and the instructor tells you those are the Keys. My instructor suddenly asks, you want to try some stunts - Hell yeah and two somersaults later my head is reeling & my heart is racing but I am thinking holy hell, somersaults in the air - awesome. I look down below and I can see my sister gliding closer to the ground and ready to make a landing. We prepare to land too and 2 minutes later I can see the ground inching closer. Feet up he shouts, we are supposed to land on our ass. Not the smoothest landing but injury free and I am glad.

An unforgettable 4-5 minutes of my life has now ended and I am grinning. All that we thought of and imagined all these months and we are done - the experience is ours to hold on to. The rush is unbeatable, I can't explain it. Was it scary, hell to the yes but was it worth it - totally and more.My recommendation for your bucket list - go jump ! 

My latest read - Remember the Time

In the last few weeks, I have been invading Flipkart and bookstores more often than usual and overstocking my bookshelf. I am not a single genre person; I have tried most with an exception to sci-fi which hasn't yet caught my fantasy. Autobiographies & biographies have become a favorite in the last few years although I can't credit myself for having read too many.

My latest acquisition was something I was particularly excited about and from the time it was delivered to time, I took about 5 - 6 hours and lapped it all up. It is the latest book of on my absolute favorite artists - MJ; called Remember The Time.

His life has always interested me and I have tried to read all I could find about him. This latest book, written by his body guards is an interesting read for one main reason - I don't see them glorifying Michael Jackson for the mega star that he was. The real experiences they had as they protected him during the final two odd years of his life reads as honest and at some points even bitter. He was beyond the regular description of famous, he was a living legend. His music appealed to every section of section and his story of hard work and success right from the Jackson 5 to his solo career making generated interested in all the tabloids. Unfortunately many remember him more for the controversies that surrounded him starting from the late 80s and early 90s.

The book is very easy reading; It is almost like they are sitting across the room and narrating the story to you between sips of chai. It is a long story and yes they give out a lot of details which may make you believe that the book loses paces in some chapters. It is a different perspective (according to me at least) as most of the usual pieces/ books on him focus on the court cases against him on the child molestation counts and all the crazy stuff the media rumored him to be be involved in - sleeping in a special chamber to maintain his youth etc. This book shows a very harsh reality of his final years; where he struggled financially and on the personal front as well. It explains so much of his paranoia - you wouldn't imagine these scenes occurring in the life of a man loved by billions across the world. It talks about how he didn't have a home of his own and was continuously on the move to get away from the glare of the paparazzi; how his life focused only on his children and making music for himself because that made him happy; how they saw him make mistakes in trusting the wrong people as they led him down the wrong path and they couldn't say or do anything. The writers i.e. his body guards continuously reiterate how he always wanted to be left alone with his family.

The book on the whole, leaves you sad; I have to admit (at least I was sad) but there are also glimpses of the small joys in life - beyond the money and the fame. More than anything, there is the realization that actors, singers, artists etc are all human at the end of the day - Their lives, fortunately or unfortunately are no different from us regular people. RIP Michael Jackson !